Dear Diary – Our Week

Hi Everyone,

I cannot believe how fast this week has gone! And how bloody hot it has been and still is! In fact it’s so hot that I am doing this blog in my underwear! It’s just easier when you’re melting!!

It’s been a pretty good and productive week but I have to admit I’ve been a bit hormonal and tired. As any Mummy will agree, things always seem so much more difficult when you’re really tired.

I had one particularly testing evening where my boy decided crying for two hours was a great option even though he appeared to have no reason to do so, and he also picked the evening his Dad was out to do this so I was on my own.  Thank God for blogging because that night I wrote this post which was literally therapeutic. But the thing that got me that evening was further realisation that my life has not only changed but is continuing to change. 

Once Josh settled that evening I was thoroughly pissed off and I needed to vent to someone. I was so angry with my husband for not being in that night when it was the one night Josh went bat shit crazy. I was so annoyed that he was off enjoying a lovely summers evening with his mates going for a run and then a beer, where as I was in our stupidly hot house (seriously, Autumn get a move on), starving hungry but unable to cook dinner because I was dealing with Josh and wanting a shower cause I had a major stresshead sweat on. All I could think was how I couldn’t do the simplest of things, things we don’t even think about before we have a baby, but my husband can do what he wants pretty much when he wants. And I felt really really jealous of him in that moment.

Now being your average irrational and overly emotional woman, I didn’t tell Sam what was wrong when he got home. I’d text him an absolute earful whilst he was out but then proceeded to apologise when I had calmed down, so he came home thinking everything was cool. I waited a full 24 hours of being grumpy and mentally winding myself up before telling him how I was a bit resentful of his freedom. I’m a pretty relaxed wife; I’d never stop Sam doing what he wants, I’d never say he couldn’t go away on a stag weekend or to the cinema with the boys. Hell, I’m even fine with him going on holiday for a week skiing in the New Year (don’t worry, the list of things I want from Duty Free will compensate). And I don’t want to become one of these wives who tells my hubby what he can and can’t do. So having a chat about things really did help. I really wanted him to have that realisation of how fortunate he is that in all honesty his life hasn’t changed as much as mine. He has all the fun times with Josh, all the smiles when he gets home from work because Josh is delighted to see a face that isn’t Mummy’s. Of course I am also blessed with happy times with Josh but I do also get all the shit – literally! The poo explosions, the sleepless nights, the mortification of being topless in public (No, I’m not over it)! Having a chat really did help and it also gave Sam a chance to say to me it frustrates him that I don’t let him help more around the house. I suppose I don’t; I’m quite house proud and I like things organised and done a certain way so sometimes it just feels easier to do it myself. But I suppose I need to let go in that respect a bit; I can’t tell Sam he’s a lazy git when he’s actually offering to help me. Parenting really is all about teamwork and compromise.

It also helped talking to friends who were feeling the same way. I think because our babies are now in yet another new phase, one where they mobile and we are even less free to have a cup of tea or do chores around the house than we were before, it really is quite frustrating. You literally don’t stop because you’re constantly trying to stop the baby falling, bumping his head, electrocuting himself and basically doing anything that causes them harm from things they shouldn’t be going near. It seems these little people are moths to a flame when it comes to danger!

Does this look like a kid who wants to nap!

Thankfully after my little strop (much necessary) we had a lovely end to the week in the sun, having a bbq and fizz in the garden before our busy weekend of seeing family and friends and then the huge excitement (and nerves) of our first night away from the baby. Hubby is excited for a night of passion and getting his leg over more than once in an night…………. I’m excited to sleep a solid 8 hours!!! How things have changed!!

So on to our highlights of the week:

• Going Self Hosted: Yes I’ve taken the plunge and the wheels are in motion for me being self hosted. I can’t wait to have this all up and running and make BB&M my very own sleek and beautiful website! Watch this space
• Braving the Vlogging: I did it! I did my first proper blog this week. Yes it was only filmed on an iPad (it’s going to take some time to convince hubs to let me spend £400 on the Canon G7 I am desperate for – here’s hoping I win that MAD Blog Award) but I am so glad I did it. I really enjoyed it and I’ve had the most lovely supportive comments. I can’t wait to do the next one
• Kisses! I’ve been trying to teach Josh to kiss me. I just go “Gissa Kiss” and he face plants me with his mouth wide open which is hilarious but very cute.
• Shopping: Oopps! I went on a couple of shopping trips this week (although as we all know, my visit to New Look was all kinds of necessary). I’ve treated myself to some lovely beauty products which I’ll be doing an August favourites vlog on soon.

• Swimming: I took the boy for a dip this week. Added bonus that I fitted into my bargain new Fat Face bikini! Was very pleased. Josh loves swimming and it’s adorable seeing his face when he’s in the water.

• Friends: I feel like I say this all the time but when you have those shitty, tiring, tough days, friends are everything. I’ve felt so lucky to have my girls to turn to this week and they totally understand my frustrations. Having such close Mummy friends who are facing the same challenges as I am (SLEEP BABIES, SLEEP!!) is a comfort and almost a positive in a negative situation because it reminds you that it’s not just you who feels a bit fed up at times.

 Next weeks diary post will no doubt focus on our night away (don’t worry I won’t go into the nitty gritty details 😉 ) and how I’ve felt being away from the baby for the first time overnight. I am very excited, although also slightly worried about my boobs exploding as I won’t be feeding obviously! Can’t wait to tell you all about it and I hope you all have a sunny, fizz and family filled Bank Holiday.

Lots of Love x