I hope you are well on this freezing cold Saturday! I am enjoying having a couple of hours to blog whilst Josh is asleep and I wanted to write something a bit different today. I saw a similar article elsewhere and thought it was such a great idea. Because as cheesy as it sounds, as we get old we do get wiser (even me)! And there is so much stuff I have learnt and experienced that I wish I’d known when I was younger. So I wanted to write a post on the things I’d go back and tell my younger self…
You Will Learn From The Heartbreak
When you are 16, 17, 18 and you go through heartbreak it is the absolute end of the world! You think no one understands and you’ll be crying Collection 2000 mascara into your pillow forever. I had my heart broken when I was 17 when I fell hook, line and sinker for my first love. He was my first proper boyfriend and I did the whole “waiting for the one I love” thing with him – in my head over heels teenage state I thought he was the one. Of course he wasn’t; he treated me like shit and decided he fancied one of my best mates not long after I gave him what he wanted! At the time I was beyond distraught and I would love to go back and tell myself it really isn’t that bad, he definitely wasn’t worth it and that I was going to find so much better in my life with true love. Ironically the guy in question is actually a lovely bloke and a friend now, and I don’t hold any bad feeling for him now, but at the time, if I hadn’t wasted so much time crying I’d of punched him! But I’d love to go back and reassure myself that it’s not worth all the tears, cause one day you’ll meet someone who you will fall head over heels in love with and all the past hurt and pain will make you so much stronger!
Don’t Chase after people who aren’t worth your time!
Urgh when I think back to how much I used to chase after people, most notably boys, I cringe! I was an absolute push over with my first two serious boyfriends, I always chased after them, let them walk all over me and of course I got treated like crap and cheated on. Fortunately the Scorpion in me kicked in when boyfriend number two cheated on me and I went, what one might call, bat shit crazy, and this time I actually did throw a punch (and I may have broke his coffee table too)! After that I never chased a bloke again and every guy I went out with afterwards treated me well cause I wasn’t such a walkover and gained confidence in myself. But I wish when I was younger I hadn’t been such a pushover. I was the same with some friends as well and when you’re a teenager your friendships mean everything – at the time you don’t realise it is another form of relationship and therefore requires give and take on both sides. I would definitely go back and tell myself to stop making a fool of myself by chasing boys cause they are so not worth it!! And I would make myself recognise true friendships, ones that I have still today who I love so much and not waste time on chasing people who I think are the right friends for me when they weren’t.
Don’t take it all so seriously
I took so many things way too seriously when I was a teenager; peoples opinions of me, school work, the way I looked. I was quite often rubbish at taking a joke and took things to heart very easily. Looking back I wish I’d known to just laugh along with people and not be so sensitive; nowadays I don’t care too much of what people think of me in terms of how I dress or behave. I have faith in myself as a person and I’m far more confident in myself and I think confidence is an attractive quality that makes people warm to you. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self to enjoy the fun times, not take them all so seriously, laugh along with peoples jokes and have the confidence I’ve grown to have now. When you’re younger and people are mean you take it to heart so much more than you do when you’re older when you have a thicker skin. I’d tell myself to be more confident in my own skin and most of all I’d tell myself there are kind, loyal, non-judgmental people in this world and when you find them, hold on tight.
Put things in perspective
When your a teenager anything that goes wrong or not the way you had hoped seems like the end of the world. You think a bad grade is going to ruin your future career plans, or that a cutting comment from the “popular” girl at school means you will forever be seen as ugly or if your parents won’t buy you that outfit you will be unfashionable and mocked forever! We should always be so grateful for everything we have in life no matter how old we are and this is something I am going to drum into my children. I don’t think I acknowledged this enough as a teenager and I wish I had; I had lovely friends, supportive family, my health and the future ahead of me – if only I’d known the many amazing things the future had in store. I am a very very lucky girl!
True Love is SO worth the wait
I am a true romantic and although I did love my first boyfriend, I don’t think I experienced true love until I was older. It is definitely a different feeling, perhaps as you are more mature and appreciate things a lot more. But you know when you are truly in love; you get those butterflies even at the thought of that person, you smile so much your face lights up, they make your toes curl when they look at you and you miss them when you don’t see them. It’s hard to explain because you feel all those things as a teenager but I would go back and tell myself that when you meet the right person you just know – you absolutely just know and I believe some people are just meant to meet and be together; you will meet someone and it’s like coming home, it fits and it works. That’s got to be the ultimate reassurance to tell a love struck teenager! It would certainly give you faith in those moments of teenage angst!
What would you go back and tell your teenage self?
Thanks for reading